I don know why..

I'm real disappointed with myself. I dislike my character. I don like myself to like someone so easily.. I don like my character. I feel so.. Ashame of myself.. Always in a mist of love triangle.. Always, always.. And always sink back in the position of helping the guy. I cant stand myself! Really cant, don know why am i always acting in this way. I hope the feeling will be gone faster. FASTER, FASTER.

Werid.. Jianwen came and talk to me and joan. Dont know what is he thinking.. I don know whether should he hao with him.. Cause for the past months, in the outsider view, i see how he behave. Is either he had changed, or he all along like that. I don know whether can i still trust him or not.. See how it goes then!